It is with great sadness to announce the death of Saint Jade of Goody who battled with cervical cancer. She leaves a £4m legacy to her two sons before inheritance tax.What gets me about all this is that I have cancer too and I don't get any mass media attention. I don't have OK or Heat magazine knocking on my door. I am to be re-elected in 2010 and I need as much publicity between now and then to make people think how wonderful I am. But that is all to change as I hire Tameside Council's answer to Max Clifford, Darrell Beck. He will lead my publicity campaign to win back the hearts of the peoples popular republic of Tameside. He has many connections to stop sensationalist reporting in the likes of the Tameside Pradvatiser and the Tameside Unreported as he was once was a former journalist himself for the Pradvatiser.
I must apologize for my lack of attendance at the council offices recently, but the doctors have advised that I take as much rest in my socialist citadel on Back Moor. I hope to see you soon as these house extensions don't pay for themselves!
Regards,
Cllr. Roy Oldham CBE.
Executive Leader