A Letter to James Purnell

Dear James,

I am the Labour Party. You have worked for it for over twenty years and I have for far longer. We know it owes me everything and it owes you nothing.

I have every right to say what I believe no matter what. I now believe your continued presence as MP makes a Conservative victory more, not less likely in Stalybridge & Hyde.

That would be disastrous for our constituency. This moment calls for stronger rules on accepting MPs from Blair, an active MP, better public relations, an open purse. It calls for a MP that measures itself by how it treats the poorest in society. Those are our values, not yours.

We therefore owe it to our constituency to give it a real choice. We need to show that we are prepared to fight to be a credible dictatorship and have the gaul to offer the same old shit.

I am therefore calling on you to stand aside to give our Party a fighting chance of winning. As such I am telling you to resign from being an MP and the Labour Party.

The Party was here long before you, and I want it to be here long after you have gone. I am doing the right thing by it.

I am the leadership and I am acting with anyone else. My actions are everyone's considered view and there's plenty more where that came from. If the consensus is that you should continue, then I will have no option but to burn your house down.

Fuck off and never come back.

Yours,



Cllr. Roy Oldham CBE.
Executive Leader

RIP Comrade Wareing

Dear Comrades,

As many of you know, Comrade Wareing has died. I have lost a very dear wife and friend, and Tameside has lost a most excellent politician. She had absolute commitment and passion for the area and the people of Tameside. Oh sorry that was Margaret, what I meant to say was: I've not just lost a fellow political colleague, I've also lost one of my dearest friends. Martin was my Aide-de-camp, or my right hand man for a very good reason - his unswerving support for me and this council as a whole. He loved Tameside in general and Denton in particular and had the kind of friendly disposition which made him one of the most popular councillors we've ever had.

This means another by-election. Kieran Quinn is running the operation in Denton North East. I have told him that this isn't a walk in the park like Newton, we are dangling by a bollock on this. Mind you the Tories are in second place, I will just tell John Bell to go easy on us. He can be easily swayed by my charms - or money.

One of the big questions is who will replace Comrade Wareing as Aide-de-Camp. Well I have had Comrade Bray ask for it, but I had to remind him it wasn't that sort of camp. I really don't know how he slipped through the net, but that's Ashton Labour for you. I told him that there can only be one bent bastard around here and that's me.

Regards,



Cllr. Roy Oldham CBE.
Executive Leader